Is kidnapping really on the rise?

Since the news about the AMK hub broke out a one or two weeks ago, my FB flash up with more news about kidnapping on the rise or missing child. From AMK, Bt. Panjang and now Tampines? I am very very concern.

Being a mother of one, Yvette is my only child, I can’t imagine she disappear from my world suddenly. I know I have to be vigilant, and yet I do hope public and as well as the law enforcer, especially the policeman to be alert too.

And what I encounter today, really make me losing faith.

(Please, by all mean, you can say I make up this and not believing this is the truth. This happened in this evening from 6.15-6.50 outside Lor 4 MacDonald opposite the Church. I have never took down the little boy name, the teacher name (from TPY little School House at Blk 192) and the uncle who helped to inform the police while I have stand there to wait for the police to come for more than half an hour. (The uncle was really kind enough to paddle his bike to the neighborhood police station located in the Toa Payoh CC just opposite the MacDonald twice.) Luckily Yvette was in good mood and sitting in the stroller if not, I think I have no choice but to walk away?)

I fetched Yvette from CC and making our way back home. Surprisingly, an uncle was trying to signal out to public that a little boy had stand there for long eg. More than 15 mins. Without hesitation, I walked up to help (I think I am very KPO.).

It didn’t take very long for me to understand what the uncle trying to convey. This boy indeed had lost his mother on their way home and standing at the traffic light. We tried very hard to get him to talk but no matter how we coaxed him, he simply kept his mouth shut! HE JUST REFUSED TO COMMUNICATE!!!

This was not the most shocking part.

The most shocking part was; the policemen told the uncle they are not able to leave the station (got 3 policemen around) because they need to be in station. In short, they are not coming to help us (the public) and as well as they boy. The Policemen had ignore our plead and made 2 toddlers, one aunt and one uncle stand there for 30-45 mins who made two trips to the station asking the policemen for help. (The boy didn’t want to follow us to the station which is located just a stone away.) The policemen told the uncle they will call the patrol police to come and help us.

AWWWWW….

Please shed me some light!!!!

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Some Tested and Untested Solutions For Discipline

Teaching her to treasure

I “threw” away Yvette’s board games yesterday in front of her. Instantly, she broken down and was crying really like a heart-broken little girl. I believe I have managed to teach her a “lesson” and hope she will remember and love her toys even more after this.

What had made me act in such manner? She had used her leg to step on the board games. Despite us giving her stern warning, she continued to test our patience. As such, I decided to give her a harsh punishment.

(I didn’t throw it away. Yes. I put them into a plastic bag with a bag of rubbish but then the rubbish chute was behind the wall. She didn’t see me pick up the board games from the rubbish and hide under my clothes when I walked into the house. However, I have no plan to give her back the games soon. Must wait for a few more months then I will find a reason to return her.)

A solution for her sleeping problem.

I shared my woe with my colleague and she shared with me what should I react when Yvette refuse to sleep at night. (In fact, for the past 3 nights, Yvette had been sleeping well. At least not later than 11.)

The solution is: – Don’t beat her. Don’t scold her. Don’t force her to sleep too. Ask her not to sleep. Let her stay up to 2-3 am in the morning and wakes her up at 7-8 am in the morning. Force her to school.

I think I will try that.

I think this method is exactly like starving the kid for a few days and make them love food.

Actually I shared this with a teacher today and she told me many parents are finding solutions to deal with kids that don’t sleep timely. Oh well, it is good to know I am not alone. Still I hope I can get this sleeping problem solve this year. I am really worried that she can’t wake up in the morning for BIG school.

Looking For A Sleeping Solution

I am so surprise that my last post over finding a sleeping solution for Yvette was so long ago. This doesn’t mean I have already found a solution over this problem. In fact, this problem doesn’t really get so serious that triggers me to pen down a post. (I am going to register this in her 42 months development.)

I definitely can’t deny I am a failure for this department.

For the past few days, this problem blows up. She couldn’t sleep despite resting on the bed. And again, she never fails to create records. From time to time she tends to stretch her sleeping hours not by sleeping long but by sleeping later.

Yesterday, she was awake much later because the Chinese Class is over and I feel I could let her sleep longer. So she was up around 10 plus in the morning and didn’t take her usual nap. Usually if she didn’t sleep, she will doze off around 8 plus. Unfortunately it won’t last long, at 9 plus she will be up. (This situation happened twice already.) As such, after taking power nap, it did actually give her more energy. Adding on to predicament, a tantrum was set off on our way home and she cried for more than half an hour.

I don’t know how many of you will agree. I feel crying takes up a lot of energy from us and usually we will be tired after crying for a period of time. Sadly, this didn’t happen. It has stimulated Yvette’s active cell and she couldn’t sleep despite was on the bed since 10 plus at night and then at 11 plus she was still full of zip.

I got work up! I scolded her. Whacked her backside and punished her – standing at the naughty comer. The ordeal lasted till 12.30 midnight and I know she finally dozed off at close to 1 pm. (A second night over the past 3 days sleeping at 1 am.)

 Seriously I really don’t the reason on why she is not sleeping or she will take longer time to fall asleep compare to her friends in school. According to her teachers, nap time will start around 12 plus and Yvette will be the last child to nap. She will toss and turn for about an hour till her energy cell dies off. (That could last till an hour or more and Yvette will then nap around 1.45 to 2 pm. They will be up around 3.15 pm.)

Looking for a sleeping solution for Yvette has now again becomes the top of my list and I am going to do the following:

  1. Stop all the sweets and chocolate. Limit to 1 or 2 per 2-3 days. Sugar activates the hyperactive cell in toddler.
  2. Cut down milo or just give her milo without sugar.
  3. I have never given her Mango and Durian and no intention to give Banana and raisin in the evening.
  4. This is hard but will get hubby to try. It is hard to stop Yvette getting too excited over playing with us after dinner. I think we have to control her “happiness”.

If the above don’t work, perhaps we have to send her to sleep therapy.

How Many Enrichment Class Is Enough?

Currently Yvette has two enrichment classes in her schedule. Music Class on Sat and Chinese Class on Sun Morning. The travelling distance to go for both classes is less than 15 mins (Oh boy, confession now! We take cab to music class most of the time!)

Travelling time to classes is one of the factor to consider for me. I don’t wish Yvette or ourselves to travel all the way, it is waste of time and can be really tiring.

Learning to play music leads to lifelong enjoyment. It could be a career, it could be a past time, it could be a stress reliever. It makes great family time. We do picture she play music for the family in the future. We feel music is a good indicator of the resilience of children and their ability to “stick with it”. Music instill positive attitudes, a positive self-image, a desire to achieve excellence, an ability to set goals, cooperation, and group cohesiveness. And build her patience too. We hope she can benefit from learning music.

Yvette was weak in Chinese and her interest is not strong in Chinese when she was much younger. Sending her to accompanied class giving me more chance to culture her interest and set her foundation right.

So is two classes enough?

I got a phone interview from one magazine recently and share my thought over how many enrichment class to send is enough for preschooler in my perspective.

For us, two is enough as of now.

Having a full time job. Sending Yvette to full day care. We already not spending as much time together as family. On average, we spend only 4-5 hours together per weekday. (eg. from 6.30pm to 10.30pm)

We don’t want over schedule. We want Yvette to be active and have time for outdoor play. We want to spend more time with her. We want to read to her and homeschool her.

We try to teach as much as we could. However I know I have limitation. My English language is not a good as D. In the pipeline, I’ve been contemplating to send Yvette to English Class – not sure what type of class to send as of now. But we decided to hold the horse first. By accessing her progress in reading and phonics, we quite sure she doesn’t need one till P1. (As least I can still teach and hopefully by then D has the time to teach too.)

Swimming is a sport Yvette took up since she was a baby. I have dropped this extra curriculum since the timing is crashed with her Chinese class and travelling to Turf City took us 25 mins by taxi and 45 mins by shutter bus. As such, I have to give this class a miss. I do wish she will take up a sport again. It can be swimming it can be other sport.

P1010524

Lastly, Art.

Art opens up creativity. But I can’t say Yvette is lack of it. She does see things in different perspective. The Hare and The Tortoise is one of her favorite story. After reading them again and again, she told us. “Without the tree, the hare will win!” A very different perspective that I have never thought before.

I have no plan to sign Yvette up for any new class now but the above three are something we will like Yvette to take on.

How many enrichment class is enough for one preschooler is really subjective. It is always up to each family and the preschooler to cope with these extra classes. As long as the preschooler enjoys the lesson and the pocket is deep enough, why not to have more?

For us, we prefer less…

母乳是最好的

但我已经失去了这个权利。

我一直以为让琬文断奶是一件很困难的一个过程。但一直到我的“病情”有了一“突发异想”的诊断,我不得不停止她“享用”母乳的权利。

所以在星期一的夜晚,我们临睡前,我就跟她解释道:

“妈妈有病,再也不能给你奶喝。因为妈妈的病情需要打针,所以不能再给你奶喝。那些药会进入你的躯体通过我的奶。所以你喝了会不安全。妈妈可能会死,你喝了奶也可能会死。但如果你不喝,你会好好的。妈妈也可能会没事。”

她听了,只哭了5 分钟,就没嚷着要奶喝。

接下来的几天,她不时有要奶,但没哭没闹。

没有哭闹是她的明白事理。

我的一番话说得很白,她不但肯配合,也以不哭闹让这个过程过得轻松自然。

我不能为她俘虏,心里确实很难过。但当我想到药物会随着我的奶进入她的体内,我就知道这是个对的抉择。她的不哭不闹,也让我深深的体会她是那么的爱着我。

谁说年幼的孩子不了以觧解来解决问题。我的女儿是一个好例子。

P/S: Today enter the 6th day of weaning. I know it is tough for Yvette but her understanding toward my illness is the best reward I ever had in my life!

FTWM’s Voice: Does The Boss Really Understand?

My contract started on 09th May last month and I am already out of office for 4.5 days.

I took leave (agreed upon during the interview) on 13th May to celebrate Yvette’s birthday.

I took half a day leave to follow up of my molar pregnancy with OB on 20th May 2011. (I need to be reviewed by gynae every month.)

I took a day off to take care of Yvette on 26th May 2011.

I was very sick on last Friday and I called my boss I need a MC. (Till now I am still very sick and the worst is my face is having some infection. Anyone can recommend skin clinic for me?)

Today I decided to stay at home because Yvette vomited out a lot phlegm in the middle of the night and thinking it will be best for her to stay at home.

Looking at my track record, it seems like I have put my family in priority which we have communicated during the interview.

Actually the current boss is now history from today onward. He is moving on to the Regional Office that will be relocated to Shanghai next year. Today, there will be a new boss report to work.

How can I go back to work full time if I have so much family commitment? I don’t want to be such a irresponsible employee in the boss’ eye. So doing contract job is still the best employment status for me.

Will a little EQ helps?

I am shame to admit despite Yvette is still not feeling well. But I have to send her to school. (For sure she doesn’t have fever anymore.)

Neither of us can take leave today. Not exactly we can’t. I can but I can only be off in the afternoon. I need to go back to office to discuss and submit a document to government before I can be off.

Looking back how Yvette was taken care when she was sick, there is a huge amount of guilt sitting within me. I am very sure I am not fulfilling my duty as her mum completely. And I do thank D who willingly cancel his important meeting to stay at home to look after Yvette.

How I wish l could be at Yvette’s side when she is sick all times. With my employment status, I need to answerable to both sides (the company I work for and the agency) certainly don’t make me in a better position.

This makes me ponder again whether the decision on re-joining the work force is correct. (I really have steep learning curve during this period. I think the curve will be steeper if I stay at home longer.)

Sigh.

Will a little more EQ going to help me?