She is not a survivor, but she is a fighter! Me just back from SGH….. pray for her….
I thank readers writing to me tell me how much they have missed my blog. I thank readers making effort on checking the hibernating site. It is like a dead volcano now! However I am sorry to inform everyone that a decision has made and this is not going to be an easy one.
Yes.. I have decided not to write for the time being. Not sure when I am coming back but definitely not in the next 3-6 months. However, I am not closing down because base on the stats I have gathered from wordpress, I still have readers reading them. 😀
Initially it was hard! My heart keeps thinking of my blog however due to holding a full time job (no contract anymore), I have really go no time to go on. So many things need to updated, some little time is left for myself. The worst of all, the computer is down… no time to get a new one too.
So what’s happening in our life?
Yvette is a good girl as a whole. We celebrated her birthday in school and a mini celebration at home with the family. It was coincided with Mother’s day this year which marked this birthday more meaningful to celebrate. Despite having little time with her, she excels in whatever she is doing. (Definitely a blessing!) Her learning interest is wide-ranging and she takes every new challenge very well!
Hubby is as busy as usual. Good news is he had cleared the first paper of his MBA and now waiting for result for another 2 subjects. Time is running out for him and I am really proud of his achievement. He undoubtedly is putting in his best effort as a worker, a husband and a father! Yvette loves him to the max and often chooses over him than me!
So what’s really happening?
A person came into our life.
Not another child… but a helper.
I bet you will be falling off the chair when reading this piece of news. Hiring a maid is the last straw. The main job scope of our maid is not about taking care of Yvette, is not about cleaning the house. It is all about my Father- in-law (FIL). She needs to be with my FIL 24 hours, day in day out, while his children are working. (BTW, I am lucky. My helper is indeed a good one…. so far.)
After CNY, we’ve been in and out hospital. 3 long period of stay in the hospital till now he is in hospice. And SO, in short, his days are numbered. He is diagnosed with lung cancer and it is in the final stage now. Nothing can be done medically to his illness due to old age. Not a single session of chemotherapy. His life depends on morphine solely. He is so weak that he can’t even eat. He has not been eating for weeks and drinking a cup of water per day. The families visit him daily in the hospice and that including Yvette.
Life is getting more and more difficult as we know the day we have to grief over the lost will eventually come! The Hubby particularly is getting the worst hit. Being the child that stays with FIL since he was a baby, the 40 over years of kinship is really hard to break!
And lastly, I hope the god (who I believe is everywhere) although I am free thinker will take away all the pain from my FIL and let him rest in peace!
Since the news about the AMK hub broke out a one or two weeks ago, my FB flash up with more news about kidnapping on the rise or missing child. From AMK, Bt. Panjang and now Tampines? I am very very concern.
Being a mother of one, Yvette is my only child, I can’t imagine she disappear from my world suddenly. I know I have to be vigilant, and yet I do hope public and as well as the law enforcer, especially the policeman to be alert too.
And what I encounter today, really make me losing faith.
(Please, by all mean, you can say I make up this and not believing this is the truth. This happened in this evening from 6.15-6.50 outside Lor 4 MacDonald opposite the Church. I have never took down the little boy name, the teacher name (from TPY little School House at Blk 192) and the uncle who helped to inform the police while I have stand there to wait for the police to come for more than half an hour. (The uncle was really kind enough to paddle his bike to the neighborhood police station located in the Toa Payoh CC just opposite the MacDonald twice.) Luckily Yvette was in good mood and sitting in the stroller if not, I think I have no choice but to walk away?)
I fetched Yvette from CC and making our way back home. Surprisingly, an uncle was trying to signal out to public that a little boy had stand there for long eg. More than 15 mins. Without hesitation, I walked up to help (I think I am very KPO.).
It didn’t take very long for me to understand what the uncle trying to convey. This boy indeed had lost his mother on their way home and standing at the traffic light. We tried very hard to get him to talk but no matter how we coaxed him, he simply kept his mouth shut! HE JUST REFUSED TO COMMUNICATE!!!
This was not the most shocking part.
The most shocking part was; the policemen told the uncle they are not able to leave the station (got 3 policemen around) because they need to be in station. In short, they are not coming to help us (the public) and as well as they boy. The Policemen had ignore our plead and made 2 toddlers, one aunt and one uncle stand there for 30-45 mins who made two trips to the station asking the policemen for help. (The boy didn’t want to follow us to the station which is located just a stone away.) The policemen told the uncle they will call the patrol police to come and help us.
Please shed me some light!!!!
For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.
I’m sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you’re always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
That’s true. But I don’t really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I’ll be gone and you’ll replace me with a new one, I’m actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.
I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They’re always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way, they get hurt, and become smaller / older, and eventually pass on. Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.
All my life, I’ve been the pencil. And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day. For I know that one day, all that I’m left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have.
This is to all the parents out there.
P/S: I am all well. I have completed my contract but is still very busy with other assignment. I hope everyone is all well out there too!
I am thankful that I am still breathing in this world!!!
We waited for D to come back from class and it was really late at night. Finally I get to blow off my cake at 11 pm. An hour before 12 midnight.
The year 33 was really uneventful. Nothing was fantastic. My Molar Pregnancy almost killed me. I am living in fear for months and then my cough.
I did CT Scan twice in this year and today was the second scan. (I think I must be out of my mind that I arranged for another scan today.) I went to see a respiratory specialist last week; she wanted me to do a scan to ensure my lung isn’t contaminated by Methotrexate . The scan was done in the morning and review was in the afternoon.
Due to work and as well as his lesson kicked off this week; D didn’t take leave to accompany me. However we managed to meet up for lunch. I tried something new.
After our lunch, I continue my shopping. I was hunting shoes for Yvette since last Saturday and sadly I really couldn’t get any. Anyway, the clinic called and checked with me whether have I collected the report and reminded me I have an appointment with DR Lo in the afternoon.
Headed back to hospital to collect my report and the first thing I looked out was the report diagnosis. I am glad that nothing was found and my lung is absolutely fine. However, the doctor didn’t provide much reasons that why my cough took so long to recover and to the extend affecting my sleep. I need to be on medication till I get to see her again in Feb.
Hubby got me a HappyCall Pan and I received on Thursday. This is really overdue post and I am going to back date to 16 Jan.
I wish my health could be better and I can wish myself a Happy 35 next year! And also Happy Birthday to this blog. It has turned 4!
Took this from my friend’s FB wall. Something to motive myself as I am not feeling real good now!
One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
Free your heart from hatred – Forgive( time heals)
Free your mind from worries – Most never happens.
Live simply and appreciate what you have.
Expect less from people