I feel So Sorry

For the first time ever (regarding Yvette), I do not know where to turn for help. The constant thought on her mind over her Papa and her reaction is far beyond my expectation.

Yesterday night I got to call D again after we said goodbye because she was howling nonstop. Then I have to turn on MSN so that she could see her PaPa till she dozed off. I think D must be patiently sitting in front of his lappy till Yvette slept. (Yvette sleeps in between us and she is always facing D-her left before she sleeps every night.) And when I opened my eye again last night, it was already 12 plus. Pushing Yvette off my body (I hugged her to my slumber.) I settled her nicely on the bed. I wanted to blog (pen down all those past events) but was really tired to do so.

The night wasn’t smooth. In the middle of the night, Yvette stirred and she didn’t sleep well.

The morning was really bad too. Before she was fully awake, she was already mumbling “Papa! Papa!” A bad start! She howled for her Papa again and that last us for an hour.  Usually I will use stroller to send her to school on Monday because there are a lot of things to carry on Monday. However, because she was crying, I decided to abandon the stroller. GOSH! I have to carry a whimpering toddler with 3 bags! (Stella, I am sure you can imagine!!!)

I really think there is a need to carry her!

She stopped and started to cry over and over again on our way to school. I can feel there are many pairs of eye on me. I was tearing as well too. In the very moment I feel I shouldn’t have start working so soon. It will be good I keep her at home? Anyway, her main teacher was kind enough to take over the crying baby from me when I was in the classroom. I left quickly!!! (I was already late for work.)

I left school with a very heavy heart.

On the other hand, I know it will be good I am working now rather than staying at home with her. I know very well Yvette will definitely asking me to call her Papa every now and then but how can I be calling D every now and then???? I know she will be having foul mood and I can’t even do any learning with her. I know I will be facing tantrum every now and then and I will lose my patient.

Being away by working gives me some breather – sound like I am running away with the problem???

P/S: Any one got solution for me?


9 thoughts on “I feel So Sorry

  1. hi sunflower,

    i can understand how helpless u feel…
    how about trying to use your hubby belonging eg your hubby shirt as a “substitute” ?
    tell yvette her daddy coming back soon n asks her to hug his shirt to sleep like comfort blanket?

  2. Don’t feel guilty about working and feeling relieved. You also deserve a time out so that you can be a better mother when you are with her. At least in school she will be distracted by a lot of people and activities. Also, if her other routines are disrupted then it will be harder for her to cope.

    • JZ,

      Yes, another part of me think the same as what you have commented. The main teacher is really kind. She recorded on the communication book on how Yvette reacted after I left. I feel so relieved to read that. Yvette only cried for a min then she stopped.

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