I blog about Yvette is generally a better behaved girl after she attended CC, but yesterday she really drove us up to the wall!!!! In fact, there is one undesirable behaviour that already driving us nut before she attended CC. She likes to put thing into her mouth. It is getting more serious after she attended CC. Haiz, while HFMD on the rise, we seriously hate to see her keeping putting into her mouth from time to time!!!
She also likes to smell her feet after removing the shoes. I don’t where she learnt this from but then arrrr….
I must admit, when come to discipline, I want Yvette to outdo our expectation. I don’t want Yvette to grow up to be someone who doesn’t want to study, doesn’t want to work. All these voice down to how I mould Yvette to be. An ill mannered child is equal to selfish, unkind, inconsiderate. We seriously think this is not someone we will like to see after 20 years.
So when come to discipline, I am hard, really very hard. Kids need discipline. It will get harder if I don’t know how to “control” her now.
I am a firm believer on spare the rod, spoil the child. Normally I don’t really smack Yvette every other day. In fact, this only happen 2-3 weeks interval or even once a month. My patience is building up too. But the way the I smack her, you might not agree.
Her undesirable behaviour started a few days ago.
A few days ago, out of the sudden, Yvette just laid herself on the floor and started to cry in NTUC. I really can’t recall what trigged the meltdown but it all end fast (but still got 5 ppl around us notice about it.) The cashier whom I know walked past Yvette and passed her some remark; Yvette quickly stood up and ran back to her. That’s how the episode ended. (One parenting tip I know is, try to distract or pre-empt the meltdown. But I tell you, this is really hard at times. You will never know your child will suddenly just sit there and create a scene.) Usually we will get stranger to help to “talk to Yvette” when the meltdown happen, it works for us. eg, the cashier just walked to Yvette and tell her, there is cockroaches. I doubt Yvette know what is cockroach, because we had never taught her. But then she quickly pulled herself up and walked to us, we knew the occurrence was going to end. )
We didn’t punish her. We talked to her over her misbehaviour as we walked home.
Yesterday, it was one of the hardest day we spent with Yvette. In the morning, she refused to brush teeth. (In fact, of late, she didn’t want to brush her teeth.) After much coaxing from Ah Yee, she finally agreed to. Everything went well till we were travelling to Stella’s place. She suddenly just lay on the floor again because I refused to pass her the camera!!! (At the point, I didn’t realize she was too tired. We were all up in the morning at 6 am due to super hot weather.)
Since it’s happened under our void deck, I pulled her up and started to pacify her. She dozed off in the cab after I nursed her.
Again, it was all well in Stella’s house till we went to my mum’s place for dinner. (Since we were already in the West side of Singapore, I decided to go to my mum’s place dinner so that we can be at home today.)
There is this big playground around my mum’s place we found out not long ago, we decided to bring Yvette there. (Usually we will bring her there whenever we were at my mum’s place.) We have no issue over Yvette removing her shoes when she is playing at the playground. But there are things we will forbid her to do. She can’t climb up the slide when there are other children around her. We also disallow her to slide down using her body (The head will be pointing down.) instead of her bottom. This is to avoid accident to happen in the playground. We make sure she will queue for her turn too.
So far, she has been well. But then suddenly she chooses to surprise me. She used her lip and kissed the playground after sitting down on the floor. I WAS SHOCKED. I saw saliva there and I saw dirt on her mouth too. I pulled her up and give her a slap on her mouth immediately while she was still sitting on the floor. (Yes, I will usually spank the area where Yvette “mis-use” it.) How would I able not discipline her on the spot? HFMD is RISING!!! And kissing the playground is inviting the germs!!!!!!!!!!!!! First I was shocked, and then I was angry. I got upset and then worry!!!! She just recovered from fever; I really didn’t want any illness to strike her. (I know I shouldn’t punish Yvette in the public, but then I really too mad to even think!!! And I must admit I feel guilty slapping her mouth! 😦 )
Then back to my mum place, we fed her dinner after bathing her. She started to throw out food that was put into her mouth. This is not the first time she is doing it. She had been pretending to cough out the food. I will usually pass her water and ask her to swallow the food because I know she did it on purpose. Actually most of the food I gave it to her; it’s her favorite. Food like tofu, fishball, carrot, etc, she been eating them. Like this afternoon, we both know Yvette like watermelon; D fed her while she was playing the toy. She spited them out and complained too much. ALAMAk!!! D is one of the most careful people I know; it can be me but never him. He will make sure the size of the food putting into Yvette mouth is never TOO big!!! Another behavior we need to manage.
As I thought nothing bad is going to happen anymore, haiz, I would say it doesn’t rain but pour!
Yvette asked for ice cream before we left, we give in to her request. (Usually she can’t finish one ice. If the ice-cream has a cone, she usually targeting the cone, not the ice cream itself.) So I share with her. It was the last mouth and I was trying to feed her. She didn’t want it and raised her leg to push away. This act had caused the bowl of ice cream over turn and the sofa was dirtied by the ice cream. Again she got her deserved punishment by me. See I am the evil mum. D has never smacked her. I gave her 3 slaps on her leg. It was TERRIBLE. We have to clean up the place, apologies to my mum. Of course my mum was more heartache than she needs to change the sofa cover.
WHAT A DAY!!!
As for Yvette, she was already a cry baby.
On our way home, we kept explaining to her why she needs to be spanked again and again. We didn’t want her to think that we only “beat” her for the sick of doing it. She needs to be educated why this punishment is necessary. I would need to talk to her again.
Then when we reached home, before we sleep, she refused to brush her teeth again. We decided not to battle with her again more. We let her go without brushing her teeth but I refuse to nurse her before she sleep. (Nursing is more for her comfort now.)
I know I am hard, really hard. It is hard to strike a balance. I know too much of discipline will be a double edge sword. (My cousin is one of the examples!) But then if I am not doing now, I really don’t how to manage Yvette at the teenage rebellious stage!
如果我不管，不教，那是我的错。如果我管，我教，她变坏，也是我的错。This is what we know as parenthood.
(Seriously, sometimes I feel like crying when I pen down such entry!!!)