I thought I will be able to welcome this day with an open arm but I was actually lonelier. However I have line up a list of errands I need to run for the whole of this week and I hope keeping myself busy will not let my emotion taking over my rational.
I have managed to change my own routine since last month. Instead of staying up all night long to do my stuff, I am now doing early in the morning like 5 am and then will wake Yvette up at 8 am.
So today, as usual, I prepare breakfast for Yvette and prepare a breakfast bento set for her to bring to school.
Again, I spent less than 5 mins to wake Yvette up and dress her to school. While changing her, I started to tell her again, I won’t be with her. And her face expression started to change and wanted to cry. I cuddled her and told her I will pick her up later after her class. So eventually I managed to keep her tear at her eye’s bank! I then fed her some dumpling (4 mouthful) before we headed to school.
When we reached school, she refused to take off her shoes herself. I have to take it off for her and even need to carry her to the health check. This is the first time she refused to go because she didn’t want to leave me. She keep saying: “I want Mama.” “I want Mama.”
Very very sad. I am also close to my tear for the first time at the door. I have to carry her all the way in and handed her to her teacher.
I hugged her again and kissed goodbye to her. Of course she cried immediately. On my way out, I still can hear her crying.
I feel so heartache!
Soon back home, I quickly wrapped up the present I wanted to give it to Baby May (she turns 2 on 18th Sept) because I am heading to Orchard for facial. (There is no birthday celebration for May. (Shall not disclose why here.))
I am glad I went for facial.
I got to know I am not alone. I got to know my beautician had gone thru a harder time than me.
She shared with me her experience on starting her son for Pre-school when he was turning 4 (N2). Her son cried for half a year and finally then got settled. She assured me it is nothing wrong to send our child to school and get them prepare now.
Honestly, I ever think of sending Yvette when Yvette is due for K1 but then I am too coward to stomach this risk. I am really afraid she will not be able to blend in and will take more time. Moreover, the enrichment classes in the market will not allow parent to company if the child already turn 3, I think.
And I am pretty sure if I start to send Yvette to school at N1, she will cry. If I send at N2 , she will cry too.
And she needs to bring her son to school from Hougang to Toa Payoh and he will definitely vomit in the train due to the morning feed. She was glad she was so firm and never wanted to give up even though the journey was so tough.
And yes, compare to her, my problem seems to be smaller. I didn’t have to travel that far to school. Yvette doesn’t vomit and cry much at home before we got out of the house.
And most importantly, I found out Yvette managed to over come some fear today. She is no longer crying. She just whined without tear. She simply just telling the teacher, “I want Mama!” “I want Mama!” She even ate her lunch which she refused to eat yesterday.
At the end of the day, my face is cleaner and my heart is definitely lighter! I hope Yvette can keep up with this behaviour!