Face Cleaner, Heart Lighter

I thought I will be able to welcome this day with an open arm but I was actually lonelier. However I have line up a list of errands I need to run for the whole of this week and I hope keeping myself busy will not let my emotion taking over my rational.

I have managed to change my own routine since last month. Instead of staying up all night long to do my stuff, I am now doing early in the morning like 5 am and then will wake Yvette up at 8 am.

So today, as usual, I prepare breakfast for Yvette and prepare a breakfast bento set for her to bring to school.


The bread in the shape of Triangle because this is Yvette's favourite shape now!

Again, I spent less than 5 mins to wake Yvette up and dress her to school. While changing her, I started to tell her again, I won’t be with her. And her face expression started to change and wanted to cry. I cuddled her and told her I will pick her up later after her class. So eventually I managed to keep her tear at her eye’s bank! I then fed her some dumpling (4 mouthful)  before we headed to school.

When we reached school, she refused to take off her shoes herself. I have to take it off for her and even need to carry her to the health check. This is the first time she refused to go because she didn’t want to leave me. She keep saying: “I want Mama.” “I want Mama.”

Very very sad. I am also close to my tear for the first time at the door. I have to carry her all the way in and handed her to her teacher.

I hugged her again and kissed goodbye to her. Of course she cried immediately. On my way out, I still can hear her crying.

I feel so heartache!

Soon back home, I quickly wrapped up the present I wanted to give it to Baby May (she turns 2 on 18th Sept) because I am heading to Orchard for facial. (There is no birthday celebration for May. (Shall not disclose why here.))


I am glad I went for facial.

I got to know I am not alone. I got to know my beautician had gone thru a harder time than me.

She shared with me her experience on starting her son for Pre-school when he was turning 4 (N2). Her son cried for half a year and finally then got settled. She assured me it is nothing wrong to send our child to school and get them prepare now.

Honestly, I ever think of sending Yvette when Yvette is due for K1 but then I am too coward to stomach this risk. I am really afraid she will not be able to blend in and will take more time. Moreover, the enrichment classes in the market will not allow parent to company if the child already turn 3, I think.

And I am pretty sure if I start to send Yvette to school at N1, she will cry. If I send at N2 , she will cry too.

And she needs to bring her son to school from Hougang to Toa Payoh and he will definitely vomit in the train due to the morning feed. She was glad she was so firm and never wanted to give up even though the journey was so tough.

And yes, compare to her, my problem seems to be smaller. I didn’t have to travel that far to school. Yvette doesn’t vomit and cry much at home before we got out of the house.

And most importantly, I found out Yvette managed to over come some fear today. She is no longer crying. She just whined without tear. She simply just telling the teacher, “I want Mama!” “I want Mama!” She even ate her lunch which she refused to eat yesterday.

At the end of the day, my face is cleaner and my heart is definitely lighter! I hope Yvette can keep up with this behaviour!

Well Done!


10 thoughts on “Face Cleaner, Heart Lighter

  1. As my boy’s sole caregiver, I can imagine the same heartache if he cries like that and I need to walk away.

    In our weekly Shichida classes, 1 caregiver (usually parent) needs to accompany the child, for all age groups (0-7 years).

    I’m planning to homeschool until nursery, preferably Kindergarten too. Shall see how when the schooling time comes.


    • Thanks for telling me Shichida classes can be accompanied till 7.

      Like your courage and your effort if you really homeschool your son till 7. (I don’t have a good foundation for my English, so I will not take up this task till kindergarten.) But then if you send your son to Pri school, he might have hard time adjusting to the change.

      Yesterday, Sam told me over MSN, his son’s classmate, a boy cried throughout P1 & P2.

      Having said that, all up to individual.

      Good luck to you too!

  2. Hi there!
    Do NOT give up breastfeeding because of her cries. Almost all kids cry when they start to go to childcare centres, this has nothing to do with breastfeeding! I breastfed my gal till 3 years old and she did not shed a single tear when I put her in the childcare centre when she is 22 months. Breastmilk is really good as my gal seldom fell sick even though her classmates were sick!

    Look at it long term, if you think she will benefit from going to the childcare centre, then you got to press on! Cheer up!

    • lizzie,

      Thanks for your encouragement over breastfeeding. I will try to wean but will not rush for it. I will take Yvette’s need as my priority. As long as she wants, I will try to accommodate her need.

      As for cc, the benefit on learning is not much but then going to cc at value to her overall life-style, eg she sleeps early now and easier to get her to sleep. So I really see it will benefit her in long run.

      Thumb up for your girl didn’t even shed a single tear. So emotionally independent!

  3. Anyway, I think you are quite brave to try this at this age. I think I’m going to stop Jacob’s montessori workgroup too. Maybe i’ll look for something parent-child ones instead. Leaving him to cry it out wastes my money too bc he doesn’t learn since he’s just crying and looking for me. I think even 6mths to 1 year later would make a great difference – experienced it with my older boys.

    • By another half a year, Jacob 2.5 yo? Yvette now is 2yrs 4 mths which is close to it. But maybe to a tot, the 2 months differences make a difference.

      Actually we got a space in N1 which then she will be 2 yrs 7 mths. But then there is no guarantee that she won’t cry and getting money “wasted” now better than I do it next year since I will also spend this money in JGC.

      Actually her curriculum now covers most of the thing I have already taught her, so I am not that worry she is not learning. But then again, she is learning. I am surprise when I “test” her the Days of the week, she always give me the right answer. (They are teaching this in school everyday.) (Remember she is a observant!)

      So I just cross my finger that she can get settle soon before she move to N1, same environment, different teacher!

  4. Glad she seems to be settling in slowly! 🙂 Hang in there! I can’t imagine when its my turn to bring Jude and leave him alone for class, right now he’s so sticky…

    • Yeah, I am glad she is settling in slowly. She was happily playing with toys when I went to fetch her last Friday. She only cried for an hour and stop for the next two hours.

      Be prepare when you send your son there. Be firm too. 😀 GOOD LUCK!

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